About Me

My photo
I am the working mother of two little minions, just on a new adventure in another province away from my seaside home trying desperately to solve life's many riddles and find inner peace despite all the chaos...and when all else fails there's always wine.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

REMEMBER THE HEART

It is that time of year again when the poppies, the crosses, the sacrifices, and the memories are in the forefront of our vision and our minds.  We think of loved ones lost and family that served over the years. We think of people we know of or hear of that are still serving. We think of and reflect on the sacrifices that seemed to make sense to all, the "clean wars" and those that inspire constant political debate on whether or not they were right or wrong. The truth is war, conflict, violence, never makes sense. Whether necessary or not, there is so much in it and that spirals from it that never, ever makes sense.  We may not all agree on whether or not certain conflicts, occupations, peace keeping missions etc. were right or wrong but I believe that there is always a part of it that can bring cohesion; that ties us all together on this day. 

People are brave. 

I'm not talking just about going into a battle, running full force toward and away from fear. While courage in the face of fear is bravery, there is far more bravery that should be remembered than that; something larger, something all encompassing. 

This morning I was thinking about how all those that serve are just everyday people like you and me. They are just people who want to have a cold beer after work, or sleep in on a stormy day. Who want to draw or paint, or run, eat good food, watch a new movie, laugh, dance, cut their grass, play with their children, fall in love, read, climb mountains, sit by fires with friends, drink wine, go fishing, go for long walks, play with their dog, listen to music, go for coffee, play hockey on a pond in winter, sit on a park bench, tell bad jokes, watch the sunrise and watch it set. There is a million things a million people want to do. We all just want to live simple, lovely, enjoyable lives.  To serve is to give that up for a time, and for some to give it up forever. That, to me, is incredibly brave; that is a real sacrifice that should be respected and honoured. We all are born with a right to happiness, contentment and joy; many have and will continue to sacrifice that right.

Let us also remember that it is not just those that serve that have sacrificed. Let us not forget the bravery of those left behind; of all of those who support from the edges and yet are still in the middle of it all.  I believe we should also honour and remember all the mothers and fathers who raised children without their spouses, who bravely held down the family fort.  We should remember the brothers, sisters, mothers, and fathers whose hearts ached as their loved ones fell, but bravely carried forward in their lives in honour of those lost.  Let us remember the doctors and nurses and ambulance drivers, the fundraisers, the letter writers, everyone who was there through it to do everything they could for support. Let us remember those who took over jobs and filled the vacancies of those that went away and in some cases, never came back. Let us remember friendships never forgotten, never lost, but stopped in time. Let us remember children who miss their parents or who will bravely grow up without them.

Somehow the core of it all slips away when we turn this into a political and cultural debate. We all have a right to our opinions, to our beliefs. We have a right to wear a poppy, to wear a white poppy or to not wear a poppy at all. But let us not become so engrossed in our debate, in our objections, or our arguments for either side, that we lose our respect and honour for the human heart.

Let us not debate on the right or the wrong; not on this day. We do not have to support the politics to remember. We do not have to support the violence to remember. We do not have to support war to remember. All we have to do is support the human heart. At the end of the day, to me, that is what I honour; the human heart. Because there is so very much of it in all of this remembering, all the history, all the sacrifice, all the loss; that is worth honouring today and every day.

Today whether you agree with any of it or not; honour the human heart.

 
"The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep."
 - Robert Frost

Sunday, October 11, 2015

WHAT THANKFUL LOOKS LIKE

The other day I went for a walk; just took my time, strolling down the main streets of town, relishing in the sunshine and the sights around me. People were lined up for ice cream, waiting patiently, likely mulling over the multitude of eccentric flavours the shop had to offer. Couples sat on park benches with coffee, walked small, wobbly children across the street, browsed for antiques, guitars, and cute, little knick knacks with clever verbiage like "Friends don't let friends do stupid things...alone."  Everything delighted me; I felt like I was walking through the middle of a smile.  It was a lovely, warm day, albeit windy, and the heated breeze was fiercely pushing all of the fallen and falling leaves around at my feet and around me as I walked.  I looked at those leaves, still holding onto their stunning, burnt colouring and thought to myself, "it looks like they are dancing, they seem so joyous." It was as though, on that lovely, fall day, the leaves were saying farewell. They were performing one last, little dance to say goodbye.  It is their time to go; the trees are growing more bare by the moment as the wind blows even stronger today and will surely soon bring inevitable snowflakes.

So what does all of this have to do with giving thanks? Well, my simple thought, on reflecting on what I am thankful for this morning, is that I am thankful for knowing what being thankful looks like. It is really such an easy thing to be thankful; to carry gratitude with you wherever you are and in whatever you are doing. It's about having a solid awareness that even the simplest of things, like dancing leaves are worth giving thanks for.

I grew up in a small trailer with an amazing family; a little home full of not much stuff, but a ton of love and light and laughter.  We didn't have much.  I wore hand me down clothes, we built the things we needed and grew and raised and caught the food we ate.  Even a  lot of our possessions, bikes and Barbies, came from someone else, already well loved. And so I was raised with gratitude for the generosity of others and with an appreciation for hard work, self reliance, and contentment with simplicity.

Gratitude isn't about relishing in having all of our dreams come true, or in having our lives transform into our idyllic visions of how things should be, or in getting everything or anything that we want.  It's not about looking to the sky and shouting "thank you!" when things finally go right; it is not a sometimes thing.  True gratitude is something we have to carry with us every day and have for everything and everyone.  It is about knowing that everything is worth giving thanks for. A hot shower, painting and not caring what the painting looks like - just that you are creating something, clean sheets, coffee, laughing with a stranger while you're stuck in a line up, getting a good nights sleep, listening to the rain, the stunning burst of happy colours in a bouquet of flowers, tears that remind you of your own heart, a pretty, little bird, the lessons in life you learn, even the hard ones, as you intentionally push forward through your own existence...... smiling at the leaves even when they are going.

So on this Thanks Giving day, I give thanks for knowing what thankful looks like. Knowing what it feels like; how it can roll around in your brain and sit in your heart.  I work on carrying that thankfulness with me beyond this day and into every day.

Thank you....



Wednesday, September 30, 2015

ANOTHER LIST

Well, once again, it is my birthday. Funny how that happens every year.  Last year, in celebration of my 37th year, I made a list; a long, lofty, somewhat laughable list. Was it impossible? No. Did I accomplish all of those things? Not even close. The list was ambitious to say the least. It was largely about accomplishing goals, tackling obstacles, getting things done, challenging myself physically, and pushing myself to be stronger in a way that I really truly wanted to be.  I look back at that list and I do not feel disappointed in myself for not accomplishing even 75% of those goals, not a bit.  I look back at that list and I think...I need a new list...a very different list. 

And so....in celebration of my 38th year...you know that one that leads up to me turning 38, here is my list. Here is my simple list that is not about goals, not about things, or anything material, it is simply about life and peace and light.

In honour of my 38th year, I vow to commit to.....

 - Dance
 - Enjoy the music
 - Enjoy
 - Exercise more, even if that means running laundry up the stairs
 - Laugh
 - Treat myself
 - Just love
 - Create
 - Recognize the souls around me
 - Focus on the good
 - Go outside
 - Take breaks
 - Dream
 - Write
 - Lighten up
 - Don't procrastinate
 - Have fun
 - Smile at everything
 - Act how I want to feel
 - Be authentic
 - Remember what I know
 - Remember my lessons
 - Remember my roots
 - Remember who I am
 - Let love always come first
 - Read
 - Sleep
 - Let it be
 - Let it go, and,
 - Lean into it.....

I went for a walk the other day in the last sunlight of the day and  in all the glory of the colours of autumn. The poplar leaves have turned so many stunning shades of yellow and orange it is as though sunshine itself has taken up residence in every single branch. The air was cool and full of promise, every breeze was a breath of life. I tipped my head up to the sky and smiled and enjoyed every leaf dancing on the wind, every colour, every sound, every sight before my eyes.

I am going to hold that walk in my heart and for this, my 38th year, I will carry that walk with me along every path I take. I will focus on my list and that walk and carry it all with joy and lightness and love. 

“The eternal present is the space within which your whole life unfolds, the one factor that remains constant.”
 - Eckhart Tolle











Tuesday, September 22, 2015

BEAUTIFUL, SOULFUL WORDS

I promised myself I would try to come back to this blog; to pour myself back into my life and write something, even something small, once a week. It's happening, but very slowly.  Sometimes when we cannot find our own words, we find little bits of our hearts and minds in the words of someone else. That was the case this week, I had no words, and then I read some.

I am surprised my cousin Laura ever learned to walk. She was a beautiful, little, doll of a girl, captivating all of our hearts and so we (her older cousins and myself) carried her everywhere; we never wanted to let her go or put her down.  Now our little dolly is all grown up and still she captivates me. 

The other day I saw a post from this lovely soul, who happens to be family, and I had to share it; I am in awe of her. I am in awe of the passion and commitment in her words, whenever I read them, and of the way in which she (and her brothers by the way, who are equally amazing) live their lives with such joyful intention.  I hope that you enjoy these inspiring words as much as I did....

"A friend recently asked me what my 'goal' for the future was.  My desire is to live as happily and authentically as possible based on my accumulated knowledge and experience (which is constantly evolving) aka I want to walk my talk. I does not feel enough to just have knowledge and not embody the lesson it represents or integrate its meaning into my life.  It truly bothers me when I see an angry, obese, smoking, overtired medical doctor doling out health advice like they know what's up. No.  Listen to the people who embody what they preach, because it is among the hardest things in life.  Knowing what to do and actually doing it...whole different ball game.  I seek out and accept advice from thriving folks....the ones shooting sunbeams from their eyeballs, the ones who love despite fear, who take their own medicine, who walk their own talk. To me, intelligence is not actualized it is embodied.  I chose to live in alignment with the knowledge I have stumbled upon in my life.  Alignment feels good."

These words echo a very simple truth.....I cannot get enough of these words.  They are beautiful and inspiring words from a beautiful and inspiring soul.

Please read this as well....It is brimming over with intelligence, soul and truth....

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/06/a-non-linear-life-lessons-from-nature-laura-ward/

LB I am so very, very proud of you, and I love you to pieces. 

Friday, September 11, 2015

ON THIS DAY THE WORLD STOPPED

14 years ago today, when the world stopped, and we all stood in shock and disbelief of what we were seeing and hearing and feeling, we were united not in our opinions of what or who was right or wrong, not in our politics, cultural or religious beliefs. Rather we were united, on that single day, in our respect for the unquestioned bravery of those who went in, without hesitation, to the rescue. We were united in our deepest sympathy for all the loved ones lost and lives that would never get to be or were forever altered. We were united in the heartbreak that comes from innocent lives fractured and dispersed as a result of righteous violence and perpetuating hate, on this day and on all those that came after in the name of vengeance.


Our hearts ached in unison as we found that we could be simultaneously, overwhelmingly proud and deeply ashamed to be part of the human race. Today is a day that is worth remembering for that alone and to reflect on an intention that we should all carry with us as we move forward in a life that many were parted from 14 years ago. An intention to live our lives in gratitude for all that we have and to live without anger, violence or hate.  This is how we should honour the souls of 9-11, and how we ultimately will honour ourselves.



Thursday, August 27, 2015

SIMPLE, LITTLE THINGS



Every now and then we are treated to moments in our days that can change our mood and our outlook, for the better. Even if those moments are the simplest of things,  somehow they are magic; they hold us up and warm us.  It does not matter if it's someone holding the door open for you and smiling, joking with a complete stranger while waiting in line, someone offering you a transit ticket when they see you realize you don't have one, or a sweet, little, old lady making you smile as you somehow get overwhelmed with the simplest of tasks, like having to buy new pillows...its in all these seemingly small, wonderful moments that we are reminded that the world, and most of the people in it, are good, and decent and are together in this life with us.  We don't thank people enough for providing us with these glimpses of unity; those people who's acts of kindness are so much larger than the acts themselves.  And the only thing better than having your day transformed by the acts of another, is to transform someone else's day with your own actions.  The world could use more manners, smiles, compassion and laughter. Spread it everywhere you can and be grateful when it comes your way.  Let all the little, simple moments remind us that life is beautiful, that we are all  together on this crazy journey, and that kindness, above all else, and against all else, should never go unrecognized.